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Verifizierter Kauf. Träum weiter. Der Plot hat mir richtig gut gefallen und war sehr erfrischend. Das Problem? Man seeking man in chicago

Again, maybe it was a slip of the tongue and I'm being a dick; you did mention a desire to find submissive women, CATMAN, which most likely means you were planning to seek out women who wanna be "used and abused" by two hot bi guys in love.

And you're in luck: there are definitely women out there who would be into this scenario—some readers probably went all WAP reading your question—but you're unlikely to meet those women on a night out.

Meaning, you shouldn't be thinking about casually picking women up, CATMAN, but rather cultivating connections online or at kink events with submissive women who would get into subbing for you and your imaginary boyfriend.

Finding a guy who meets your long list of particulars is a taller order. It frankly doesn't sound like you're looking for a partner, i.

He's gotta be bi but not into butt stuff, a good guy, a hot guy, a sub where you're concerned and a Dom where women are concerned. Relationships require compromise, CATMAN, no one gets everything they want, and a long list of deal breakers makes for even longer odds.

If you can't budge on any of the items on your list. You also might wanna give some thought not just to your long and rigid list of deal breakers, but to why that list is so long and rigid that you're unlikely—as you suspect—to ever find someone.

The twin pandemics—the COVID pandemic and the stupidity pandemic—have tanked a lot of people's libidos. So, if this fantasy is working for you right now, I think you should lean into it.

It may be a tall order, it may be so unrealistic as to be unachievable, but indulging in this very specific fantasy has cracked your libido open and continuing to beat off about this fantasy might blow your libido wide open.

I don't like to pathologize people's kinks or attach meaning to what are usually arbitrary, random, and inexplicable sexual interests.

But the taller the order, the less likely it can be filled, CATMAN, and it's possible you may not want it filled at all—at least subconsciously, at least right now.

Sometimes when sex is scary we obsess about fantasies that are impossible to realize or partners who're impossible to find because it allows us to avoid partnered sex.

My list of deal breakers at that time was ironically pretty short: He had to be Tommy. If he wasn't Tommy, I wasn't interested.

Tommy was amazing—totally obsession-worthy—and I did love him. But I know now that I threw myself into my obsession with Tommy to protect myself from a terrifying epidemic.

But if I'm wrong—if this is what you want—there are cities out there with kink communities large enough for two partnered bi guys to find a steady stream of submissive women who wanna sub for them.

But your list of deal breaker is going to have to shrink if you ever hope to find a guy who's close to what you want.

Something close. Q: I'm a year-old gay man living in Chicago. Recently a good friend of mine got engaged to a wonderful man from Gambia in West Africa.

She's planning a ceremony there next summer and has invited me to attend. After doing a little research I found out that being LGBT is a crime in that country and the punishment is execution.

Should I go to the wedding and stay in the closet the whole time? In general, what do you think about gays traveling to countries that murder our LGBT brothers and sisters?

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